


If You Talk Enough Sense Then You'll Lose Your Mind

by breathedeep222



Category: The Black Tapes Podcast
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Psychological Horror, The Yellow Wallpaper AU, canon-typical creepiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-24
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-04 04:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6640894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breathedeep222/pseuds/breathedeep222
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my submission for the Unsoundiversary. It's a bit of an AU of the story The Yellow Wallpaper, but about Alex at the cabin. These are a series of recordings she's made about her time there.</p><p>Title from the song I Found by Amber Run</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Talk Enough Sense Then You'll Lose Your Mind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SapphireBryony](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireBryony/gifts).



> Everything in italics is Alex speaking

Day 1

_This is day one of my enforced exiled. I'm already bored. Driving here was nice. Richard and I alternated and he was surprisingly lax about what music I played. I wish Nic could have come with us to the cabin, but I know he's busy with his own work. I'm glad Richard came with me though. I knew, in theory, the cabin was meant to be peaceful and relaxing, but it wasn't until I arrived I realized how isolated it was. Don't get me wrong, it's gorgeous. It's in a little clearing, the front facing the road with the woods behind it. The cabin itself is a gorgeous dark toned wood and has an old fashion design that's deliberate enough you can tell it's actually modern. But the only things around are the cabins and the woods. Cars don't even seem to pass by very often. As much as I know I need a break, I'm glad I don't have to be here alone. I made a joke to Richard about how Twin Peaks this whole set up was. He just snorted and told me how predictable I am._

_Day 2_

_Remember how I said I was happy Richard was with me so I wouldn't be alone? Well, now I have an even better reason to be glad he's here. Richard Strand: mountain man. Yes, seriously. Who would have guessed he's incredibly outdoorsy? After we settled in yesterday he started talking about all the stuff we could do, hiking, hunting, fishing etc. I laughed and said I didn't know the first thing about hunting or fishing, and he just said he could show me. And boy he was not kidding! Apparently Richard knows loads about hunting and fishing and everything else. I told him I had zero interest in either honestly, but if he wanted to catch and cook a fish for dinner one night I wouldn't object._

_The cabin is...nice._ **Sigh** _No, it's not, it's boring. We're so far away from civilization there's no cell service. There's nothing around but woods so there's nothing to do. I guess...I really shouldn't complain. I could have gotten in a lot of trouble for that snafu at work but Richard and Paul were kind enough to forgive me. As long as I took a break and got myself together. I should be grateful I'm here. I am grateful. The cabin itself is pleasant, pretty big actually. The bedrooms are definitely larger than I expected. My room has a big window with a view of the forest. The bed is against the wall diagonal from the window, so I can look out and see the trees all the time. They're beautiful in the day. The sun shines through and I can see birds in the trees and everything. But, well, last night I noticed it was a bit eerie. When it gets dark and the moonlight hits the trees just right it leaves a pattern of shadows on the ground in front of it. Oddly uniform actually. Just long rows of shadow trees lined up._ **Laugh** _Okay, I need to stop freaking myself out. They're just trees._

_Day 3_

_Richard has really taken this relaxation trip seriously. He won't let me do anything. He actually has a normal sleep schedule so he's usually up and about before me, so he makes breakfast. He makes all the meals, won't let me lift a finger. He'll make pretty much whatever I want with what we have, and he said if there's something specific I want he can drive down to the store and pick up the ingredients. I'll have to go with him when he does, I'm already going a little stir crazy._

_All I've done is go for walks and read. Speaking of, I only packed one book and guess what it's about? The devil. That's just my luck. It's not so bad during the day when Richard is around, but at night in my room by myself I've noticed it's not that relaxing. And it definitely doesn't help me keep my mind off those tree shadows. I'm going to have to find another night time hobby._

_Richard is trying to make do on that fish dinner promise. He offered to take me yesterday but I wasn't in the mood. We went hiking instead. But not too long ago he went out to scope out a fishing spot and try to catch something. I'm just sitting around, like usual. Relaxation should not be this boring. Maybe I'll take a nap._

_Day 7_

_We've been here a week now and somehow things have gotten worse. Well, I guess it depends on who you ask._

_Thanks to Strand I've been eating regularly and going for little hikes. I can usually manage some short naps on the couch, so all around I'm doing better than I was when we arrived. But night time is a different story._

_The moonlight can be brighter than I expected, but the forest is still so dark. Especially the ones outside my window. The moonlight doesn't illuminate the darkness, only...distorts it. A couple of days ago I finally mentioned to Strand about the shadows from the trees, and how they look like rows of, well, soldiers almost. All he did was give me that look. The, "you know that idea was ridiculous why did you bring it up?" Look. He said I knew entertaining thoughts like that wouldn't help me sleep, then he snapped the curtains shut. His confidence did help, but the curtains didn't. They're a very gauzy, light red fabric. They barely block out anything. I could still see the rows of shadows clear as day, except the slow waving of the curtain almost made it seem like they were moving. I couldn't stop following that gentle flow back and forth with my eyes. I had to open them again._

_Day 8_

_Today was an...odd day._

_I got no sleep last night. Even after I moved the curtains back I couldn't stop staring at those shadows. Every now and then it seemed like they moved. But, like Dr. Strand would say, of course they moved. They're the shadows of the trees that are probably moving in the breeze. It means nothing._

_Either way, I got very little rest and it messed up my whole day I think. I was out of it all through breakfast. This was the day we were going to take a quick drive to the nearest store and stock up on a few things, maybe grab me a new book. I was so out of it this morning Dr. Strand suggested I take a nap first since those seem to be the most consistent way I fall asleep. I told him I didn't want to, I just needed to get away from this cabin and have a change of scenery, but he insisted. He was right. I slept for 3 hours. The problem is since I was out so long Dr. Strand decided to go without me. I was irrationally mad. It was just a drive into the small town, but I wanted to do something else so badly. I actually accused him of deceiving me on purpose. That didn't go over well, and I don't blame him. Why would he purposefully prevent me from going to the store? He was just trying to be helpful because I was so tired. I did apologize later, but the damage was done. He was quiet and snappish all day._

_I couldn't even distract myself from the tense atmosphere because of course Strand forgot to get me a new book. All I could do was go for another walk. Instead of heading toward one of the trails we usually use, I went around to the side where the tree line faces my window. I looked through the window and moved until I could see my bed from where I was standing. Then I turned and examined the trees._

_They were pretty ordinary in the daytime, as expected. Beautiful, even. The main ones that I think are casting the shadows are six large trees in front. Except, the shadows they cast always seem so thin and uniform. These trees are tall sure, but also thick and curvy, branches shooting out in all directions. I can't quite piece together how these trees are making those same shapes I see in the ground at night. I knew Dr. Strand would just tell me I was overthinking things, and just getting dressed and walking out had made me tired so I went back inside._

_Night 8_

_No matter how tired I was during the day, I found myself detesting the idea of going to bed tonight. Even though I didn't really want to read The Master and Margarita, I had to have an excuse for why I was up or Dr. Strand might get suspicious. We were sat on the couch together, he doing some kind of extra hard crossword, me reluctantly skimming the book. Even barely reading was enough to slowly give me the creeps._

_There are so many unexpected noises in this place, I can't help but be jumpy. At night, there's nothing around but the dark and the woods, yet sometimes I feel suffocated. Tonight I couldn't shake the feeling I was being watched. I know that's impossible, there's no one around but me and Strand for miles, but it kept getting worse. I ended up looking over my shoulder so often Strand knew something was wrong. He made me tell him and instead of responding he stood up and came around the couch behind me and stood there for a few seconds. Then, with a sigh of disappointment he said, "it's a draft Alex. You're getting goosebumps because you're cold." Then he took the blanket from his side of the couch and wrapped it around me. It was embarrassing. I feel so hysterical in this place. Every little sound makes me jump, every movement from the corner of my eye has my head spinning. This place becomes less and less relaxing every day._

_Day 9_

_I cannot stand another night in that room. I don't even like the idea of being there in the day now. I can't stop watching those trees. Last night while lying in bed I tried to see if I could match up the shape of the trees I remembered from that morning with the shadows on the ground but...something wasn't right. Those shadows seem like an impossible shape. Dark, precise columns. But that's not what the trees are like, so how are the shadows coming out that way? I studied them all night, desperately trying to make out deviations in the pattern that matched the silhouette but I couldn't, not exactly. The more I stared the more the shapes seem to move a bit, but not into branches, oh no. They looked more like...I know I shouldn't say it. Dr. Strand would hate it if I said something like this, but. Well, they looked like arms, and legs. Long dark bodies with thin protruding appendages. Needless to say, I didn't get any sleep. I didn't feel safe taking my eyes off those shadows._

_Day 9_

_My behavior seemed silly in the light of morning, but, as the day wears on I can't ignore the increasing feeling of dread. Every chime of that stupid cuckoo clock in the kitchen means an hour closer to another night in that horrible room. I tried to subtly ask Dr. Strand if he wanted to trade rooms, but I guess I wasn't so subtle. He knew right away why I was unhappy. He couldn't believe I had spent this entire time obsessing over the trees. I tried to brush it off, say it wasn't that big of a deal. But I made the mistake of muttering about how I could just sleep on the couch. He didn't like that. I had to sit through a lecture on not letting my imagination get the best of me. I need better self-control. He's going to be watching me carefully all day._

_Day 9_

_Of course, five minutes ago when I crept from my room thinking Dr. Strand must be asleep by now, he caught me. He asked where I was going and I said I was going to the bathroom, but I was holding a pillow. He led me back into my room and tried the soothing approach this time._

_With a steady hand on my back he forced me over to the window and made me look outside. He told me over and over about how silly I was being. I was letting myself get worked up over some blocked moonlight. I just nodded and kept my mouth shut._

_There was no way he would listen to me, but he didn't know what he was talking about. He didn't study the shadows like I did. Didn't spend all night matching every inconsistency between the shadow and the tree itself. Didn't see the way those abstract limbs seemed to move, creeping across the ground. Dr. Strand insisted I force them from my mind and just go to bed. I knew better than to shut my eyes to those figures._

_Day 10_

_I wish I could talk to Nic. I called him when we finally made it into town but he didn't pick up. We didn't stay long and by the time we left he still hadn't called me back. I wanted to try him one last time before we left but Dr. Strand said it if he hadn't called me back yet there was no point. I just agreed. I'm trying not to look suspicious. He can't know I've been studying the shadows all night. I know if I can take in everything about them, gather every scrap of evidence that their shape and limbs and creeping aren't possibly caused by the trees, then maybe Dr. Strand will believe me. Until then he cannot know. He'd make me stop somehow._

_I almost gave myself away today. When we left the grocery store and didn't immediately head back to the car I asked him where we were going and he gave me a peculiar look. I had completely forgotten about my previous wish to go to the bookstore. I think I managed to laugh it off, but still. I can't make a mistake like that again. I had to pretend I was interested in reading the blurbs of the books until I found one I liked. Honestly, I just wanted to pick any one and leave. I know I won't be reading it._

_Day 11_

_Dr. Strand is worried I'm spending too much time talking to myself so I need to make this quick. I'm up in my room while he's making fish downstairs. I think the figures know I'm watching them. They've become more active, long rows of shadow soldiers marching back and forth by the treeline. I think they're going to make a move soon. I- Strand is calling me. I need to go._

_Day 12_

_Dr. Strand has been watching me like a hawk. I haven't got a free time to record myself until this afternoon. He was near me all day and I couldn't risk him hearing me at night and coming in. I'm so close, I can feel it, and they can feel it._

_This morning from my window I saw Dr. Strand standing by those trees, looking at the ground. I couldn't tell if he was concerned or searching for something. He kept asking me questions about my health all morning. I told him I was better, and I am. I've been eating all my meals and getting exercise every day. Of course, I haven't gotten any sleep at night, how can I? I need to watch them. But that won't last much longer._

_Finally, this afternoon Dr. Strand said he had to make an important phone call so he had to drive up to the gas station. He told me not to worry and he'd be back soon. Since day eight, every time Dr. Strand has left the cabin I've been examining the trees. The more familiar with them I am the easier it will be to see the men. Today, I noticed that the grass by the tree line was flattened as if something had been pacing back and forth repeatedly. Looking at that flattened line made me sick, and I ran back inside the cabin to wait for Dr. Strand. I'm afraid to think about what could have cause it._

_Night 12_

_I thought I would have more time, but I don't. I was watching the shadows as usual, even though my eyes were heavy and swimming from such little sleep over the past three days. But I didn't dare close my eyes, and now I'm glad. The figures were moving more than ever tonight, those limbs shifting and stretching across the ground. I can't take it anymore, they need to be stopped before they escape. Dr. Strand was asleep, so I managed to sneak out the room and into the kitchen to look for supplies. I had to be as quiet but as quick as possible. They have to know. I'm running out of time. I can't let them get out._

_Now I'm standing outside the cabin, on the side facing those awful men. I know they can feel me, and I have to be quick. I'm going to turn my phone flashlight on. I need to keep them at bay while I work. Just enough light to stop them from getting out too soon. Once I'm done there will be so much light they'll be gone forever._

__**Sounds of crunching and heavy breathing. A pause. There is the sound of liquid being poured and then shouting.**

"Alex! What are you doing?"

_Almost there. Almost there._

"Alex!"

_I'm going to stop them! They can't get to us!_

**There is the sound of a match being struck and a shout. There is shuffling, and more shouting. The distorted crackle of fire layers over everything.**

"Alex what have you done?"

_I stopped them! You didn't believe I could but I did. I stopped them I stopped them I stopped them I stopped them I stopped them!_

**Author's Note:**

> Jeez this is weird. Let me know what you think?


End file.
